Real Friends Don’t Ask for a Discount

I met a fellow speaker and impact-driven entrepreneur a few years ago at an event we were both speaking at. We immediately clicked.

You know those people you meet and there’s just an ease? No posturing, no performance—just genuine connection. That was her.

We chatted between sessions and promised to stay in touch.

About a year later, she called and asked if I’d be available to speak at her annual event. She wanted me there for all three days and invited me to be the closing keynote speaker.

Then came the question every speaker gets:
“What would your fee be?”

She had budgeted for a closing keynote. She was fully prepared to pay.

But something in me knew this wasn’t about money. The event, her heart, her mission—it all felt bigger than a transaction.

So I told her I’d do it for free.

Not because I didn’t value my work.
Not because I don’t believe in being paid.
But because, in that moment, my spirit was loud and clear:
“Serve. Sow. Pour in.”

Since then, I’ve spoken at her events four times.
Over the years, Anniston and I have grown close to her and her husband. A real friendship has formed—rooted in mutual respect, shared values, and a deep belief in each other’s work.

This past weekend, I was sitting in the back of the room at her event, watching her on stage.

The room was full.
Not just with attendees, but with people who genuinely love and adore her.

Friends flew in to support her.
Many of those friends didn’t just attend—they purchased her VIP package. They invested at the highest level available.

I watched person after person pour into her vision with their time, their energy, and their money.

And it struck me:
This is what real support looks like.

I share this for a few reasons.

First: far too many people think that because you’re friends, you should get a handout.
Free access.
Discounted rates.
Special treatment.

But true friends don’t ask for a deal.
True friends don’t say, “Can you hook me up?”

True friends say, “How can I pour into you and your dream?”
They buy the ticket.
They pay the invoice.
They share the link.
They show up.

Second: if you value someone—especially someone whose work could help you or advance you in some way—don’t start the relationship by asking for their assistance.

Start by asking:
“How can I support you?”
“What are you building?”
“How can I add value to your vision?”

Lead with generosity, not entitlement.
Lead with contribution, not consumption.

The relationships that change your life are rarely built on what you can take.
They’re built on what you are willing to give—without keeping score, without angling for an angle, without quietly expecting a payout.

So as you move through this week, maybe ask yourself:
Am I the friend who looks for a discount?
Or am I the friend who leans in and invests?

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